So Prototype. You’re nearly here and you’re one of maybe 4 games I want to play by the end of the year.
But I have never been less excited about a game I’m excited about. And you know why? I’ve already fucking played the game.
Not in any actual sense, no, ha-ha. I mean in the horrendously pretentious so have you kind of aren’t all games the same sort of way.
I’ve been watching trailers trying to psyche myself up for this game, but it just can’t be done. At the end of one of them there’s a quote from Game Informer describing prototype as “the first of its kind.”
So what’s up Game Informer? You didn’t play GTA 3, Vice City, San Andreas, GTA 4, Spiderman 2, 3 and ultimate or web of shadows, Crackdown, Assassin’s Creed, Hulk: Ultimate Destruction, Fallout 3 or any of those other open world action games?
Get your hands out of your pants for five fucking seconds and scratch your heads if you have to.
Probably I’m being unfair. That quote was almost definitely taken out of context or maybe it wasn’t ever said at all.
Still, the game looks fun. Game Informer, in fact, described it as "really quite a blast." It’s just I’m sick of viruses and New York and Mutants and Soldiers. Aren’t there any other stories out there?
I can take monsters. I can take cities. I’m not asking for the story of Billy: the goat with the longest horns or any shit like that.
But what happened to I Am Alive? A game set in Chicago or somewhere after an earthquake: a survival horror with no monsters and almost no guns? Where water was going to be a big deal?
Sure, I’ve heard promises like that before. Water was going to be a big deal in Fallout 3 too. You’d drink it but it would make you sick with radiation. Did anyone actually drink water ever, except to get irradiated? I had stimpaks flowing out of my eyes by the end of that game. Why bother trying to purify water at all; everyone could live off stimpaks for fuck’s sake.
But no monsters would be different. If they get the NPCs right, so interacting with them feels like a big deal, then I Am Alive might be different and really good, for a change.
So I start watching another Prototype trailer. It’s the Top 10 Reasons why Prototype is far from typical. 10 reasons you must have Prototype.
Reason number 10, the first reason: “Run and Gun Firepower”.
Ok, surely they don’t mean you can run and shoot in this game. Surely that’s not what they’re proudly displaying in a list of unique facets of this game?
Because that would be unique as fuck.
Only I’m sure there’s another game you can do that in. Just…what was it called?
Seriously I can’t remember. Can anyone name another game you can run and shoot in?
Is that even possible with today’s physics engines?