Tuesday, 2 June 2009

assassin's creed 2

Feel free to check this out.

It's gamespot's mini coverage of assassin's creed 2 from E3. I just want to point out a couple of reasons why games are shit right here.


"Gaining the ability to swim has long been the mark of a good sequel,"

Why are games so shit that this is an acceptable element to a sequel? I think that Gamespot mention it a little sarcastically, but if everyone knows it's embarassing and stupid that you can't swim in games why are people still making games where you can't fucking swim in them?


this game play video.

The developer comes out on stage. Rocks back and forth like the most autistic motherfucker of all time. Says "the main thing I said to my team was diversity. Give the player more things they can do in all aspects of the game."
That's great except one minute later he says "you can only reach your target from the sky."

Beautiful diversity there, I feel so diverse right now I think I might go and roll in shit.

Why doesn't anyone call these dicks on this stuff, for fuck's sake?

It's good to see that leaping into carts full of hay is still in the game though, and good to see it looks totally unrealistic and shit. Also you notice that bit where the guy runs up to two guards and nails them both in the face at the same time? I bet you're going to meet alot of guards who're just hanging out chatting in this game.


  1. Looks pretty good to me, but I have a nasty suspicion that it'll just be a shinier version of the original.

    Funny how they seem to be concerned about exactly the same things as me (too much fighting, too little stealth, repetitive gameplay), but then they go ahead and make the same game again: assassinating a guy has to involve flying a Middle Ages hang glider over a city while kicking people off rooftops, followed by a three-on-one brawl. Then you just leg it. Even Hitman was subtler.

  2. I watched this over at Al's house last night, and subtlety is totally the issue at stake. Assassins are known - it's basically their modus operandi! to:

    a) operate quietly and, so far as is possible, invisibly
    b)[or maybe a)ii)] definitely, DEFINITELY NOT alert their victims to their whereabouts. This seems like Grand Theft Auto in Venice. Incidentally, I would sort of like to play that game, but this seems to be yet another case of what Arena's Aris Roussinos asserted is happening in television; designers simply 'match' (in the loosest sense) plots/ ideas to what sounds like a market-able title. Not to mention vaguely inexplicable.

  3. Basically you've both hit the nail on the head.

    Though, Chris, I would say this:

    There is room for games that make money and are interesting. Assassin's Creed 1 made money and was an interesting and fun game (though they didn't go very far with the idea, or even far at all, and it had huge faults...but whatever).

  4. Also, for about 2 minutes yesterday I thought it was PS3 only. Even though I had been scoffing at the "hay carts" and all that I was still fucking furious that I wouldn't be allowed to play it. A hypocrite, I?