Wednesday, 10 February 2010

why I don't own mass effect anymore (maybe)

Ciaran
also, did you give me roland's copy of mass effect?

Alun
yes
I may have told you that

Ciaran
why?

Alun
maybe not
he was away in America

Ciaran
no, you told me it was my copy
you a trixy one alun

Alun
I definitely never said it was your copy
that would have been a lie
and wise men NEVER lie, as the Jesuits like to say

Ciaran
when I said "you can have bioshock if you return my copy of mass effect"

Alun
think about it

Ciaran
and you gave me mass effect without mentioning anything about it not being my copy

Alun
all I needed to do to satisfy you was to provide you with a copy of the game
why would I have come out and TOLD you it was yours?
I would have voluntarily perjured myself

Ciaran
which makes you a terrible person

Alun
for nothing

Ciaran
you still owe me a copy of mass effect then

Alun
well okay

Ciaran
until such a game is returned to my posession, you shall be known as 'awful person'

Alun
I was sure I'd told you; evil deeds never enter my mind

Ciaran
nope, 'awful person'

Alun
well okay
and I'll call you "Ciaran the Speccy Fatso from Swindon"
see?
see how little a name means?
so don't even bother
unless you want to call me "Fragrant Al the Comely Gal"

Ciaran
but your moniker is deserved
im not from swindon

Alun
you could be
all it takes is for a story to circulate
100 years from now

Ciaran
I do not care how my name is carried after death

Alun
when my memoirs are the only historical document of the 20th/21st centuries
such lack of foresight!

Ciaran
it is only in LIFE that we make our name

Alun
that's why they call you "Speccy"

Ciaran
and your is justly 'awful person'

Alun
"I remember my first meeting with Ciaran. He was an enormously fat man, and, being unable to walk, he had to be carried around by a team of weightlifters. These weightlifters all went on to be Olympic Champions, with the result that Ciaran was knighted for 'Services to British Athletics'. Ironically."

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