Sunday, 18 July 2010

Ben and I review the film Predators and it has nothing to do with computer games but who gives a fuck

Pal Budster says:
http://www.slashfilm.com/2010/07/13/robert-rodriguez-talks-difference-between-predators-trailer-and-film/
“Usually people complain that trailers show way too much. But in this case, there was a nice piece of misdirection used to, as Rodriguez says, get the idea of the movie across while retaining some surprise for those who actually pay to see it. I don’t see the problem.”

"get the idea of the movie across"
doesn't the fucking TITLE DO THAT?
we've got the film "Predator", it's about AN alien that hunts people
now we have the film PREDATORS
I WONDER WHAT THE FUCK THAT WILL BE ABOUT MAYBE SOME ALIENS?

Rad C Hauser says:
this has made me annoyed

Pal Budster says:
“And reveals that on Earth he was a psychopathic murderer”
i hated that part of the film
like
i mean
psychopathic murderer is a role it is pretty easy to show
but when the character has to fucking explain that he is a psychopathic murderer?
it's like what is this?
the fucking 1950s?
where's his top hat and moustache you fucking DICKS

Rad C Hauser says:
hahaha
the characters in that film are SO awful
that shit you said
that rodi rigz wanted each one to be able to be a star of his own film
made me angry
because not one of them can handle even a second sentence of description
and most are described in maybe 3 words

Pal Budster says:
hahaha yeah

Rad C Hauser says:
except the ciaran
who is described with like
one word at most

Pal Budster says:
one
yeah
that fucking russian guy
of course he had a minigun
said Antal, "and would have done this film a disservice because we are not trying to remake or copy the original film."

Rad C Hauser says:
haha
you're not eh
good job

Pal Budster says:
oh you are not copying the original film except for it is in a jungle and there is a minigun and the predators don't appear for 20 minutes and there is the song from the original and soundbites from the original and just fuck you
I think Predator is a good film

Rad C Hauser says:
same

Pal Budster says:
and i mean it's a little kitsch, in a way
but like

Rad C Hauser says:
yeah definitely
it's toned nicely and shit

Pal Budster says:
Predators could have been great, and really enhanced the "Myth" of that film, you know?
but like

Rad C Hauser says:
yeah
but it's just too sci hi

Pal Budster says:
as soon as there was that "action beat" with the dogs
it's like

Rad C Hauser says:
too schlocky cartoony

Pal Budster says:
all the tension is just fucked off
yeah cartoony is right
it's like "oh shit when did george lucas walk past the fucking script writing meeting"

Rad C Hauser says:
hahaha

Pal Budster says:
George Lucas: I have one word for you my friend: dogs and spikes.
Anyone else: that's two words George
George Lucas: THAT WILL BE ONE MILLION DOLLARS PLEASE
Laurence Fishburne as Roland Noland:
I am killing myself

Rad C Hauser says:
haha roland noland yeah when i read that
i was like
DIGGITY DAMN

Pal Budster says:
Changchien, who plays "Hanzo", also stated about his own character: "I guess he used to be a guy who can murder someone without a qualm, but by the time he arrives to the Hunting Camp, he'll no longer be that kind of person. Those things aren't explained in the script, but you'll get it when you see the movie."
I mean, i like the idea there is something goin on in that character’s mind that we don't really see
but at the same time
fucking 1999

Rad C Hauser says:
yeah i like when there's this effort
but that was no effort
that was some turdo times

Pal Budster says:
yeah
like
i mean
maybe that guy was just quietly reflecting the whole time
but when he decides like "oh you know what i don't want to run through this field i will just stand here and fight a predator"
WHAT
it's like
maybe he would decide "now is the time to maybe sacrifice my life"

Rad C Hauser says:
i hated that he killed the predator

Pal Budster says:
but just like

Rad C Hauser says:
made me so mad

Pal Budster says:
in the middle of a fucking run?
yeah man
i hated that whole thing

Rad C Hauser says:
i hated
the "japanese noise" that happened
when he made his decision

Pal Budster says:
hahaha
yeah

Rad C Hauser says:
and i hated that it used the billy music

Pal Budster says:
no one from outisde japan understands japan
yeah
well
that's one of the good things about the first film
you can basically describe any character from the first film in about 5 seconds

Rad C Hauser says:
he died, and it didn't show it

Pal Budster says:
but together there was a chemistry, you could tell these guys were close and it was cool
but yeah also that
but like

Rad C Hauser says:
yeah

Pal Budster says:
fuckin
minigun guy in the first film
he has a little joke with one guy at one point
and then mac is like having a drink in his honor and shit
it suggested something more
made those characters more 3 dimensional
and obv in Predators all the characters have just met each other
but they're ALL really shit
the african guy was vaguely enigmatic
but everyone else was just shit
and like
the fucking lunatic inmate wants to kill him? then he doesn't give a shit?
all the characters were like that

Rad C Hauser says:
yeah totally
yeah mac and blaine are 'friends' in the first one
and it's kind of just fleeted over but it's there and it's nice

Pal Budster says:
yeah
if there had been more tension, like a lot of tension, between the characters in this film
like you were basically surprised they didn't all kill each other
or maybe if they did kill each other more
like fucking

Rad C Hauser says:
yeah they become friends much too quickly

Pal Budster says:
battle royale with predators
rather than just being the shittest x men ever

Rad C Hauser says:
and the only 'nice' guy is the one that indiscriminately fires at them all with his minigun

Pal Budster says:
hahah yeah
also like
i mean
the predators are meant to be hunting the humans
but like
hang on phone
ok hello
yeah
preds hunting humans but like
when the predator kills fuckin russian
it's like
in a corridor, having been shot in the chest, as the guy is running away
just doesn't seem very hunterly?
more like
he's the bad guy? in a sci fi horror film?

Rad C Hauser says:
yeah they definitely are shitter
In an interview, Carl Weathers said the actors would secretly wake up as early as 3:00 a.m. to work out before the day's shooting. Weathers also stated that he would act as if his physique was naturally given to him, and would work out only after the other actors were nowhere to be seen.

Pal Budster says:
hahaha
what the fuck
also, going back to the "hunter" thing
and without wanting to talk about what does and doesn't make sense in the film Predators, because obviously on a fundamental level NONE OF IT makes any fucking sense
but like
if you took a human and made it fight a lion in hand to hand combat obviously the lion would win
and that's what hunting is about
that's why people use guns and set traps and try to out smart the lion
but the predators
a naked predator would kick the absolute shit out of a human
and they're invisible
and they can blow up spaceships by pushing a button
it's like
what's the fucking point in hunting anyone, you know?
and i mean
the predator in the first film
comes to earth
sneaks around, kills people, splits up the group
it's a hunter
and it's trying not to be detected by humans
and when it IS
it blows itself up to shit, presumably not just as an honour thing, but because it has failed it's mission of remaining undetected
all that alien technology has to go

Rad C Hauser says:
yeah

Pal Budster says:
i can understand the aliens doing that
but putting humans on some shitto alien planet
it's like
what the fuck fuck off
and like we were all saying
that yakuza guy
why even put him in a fucking jungle?
what the FUCK is he going to do there, apart from take his fucking shoes off?
You don't hunt a lion by taking a lion and putting it in the fucking sea
FUCK OFF PREDATOR DICKS YOU ARE DUMB AS SHIT

Rad C Hauser says:
hahahaha
yeah imagine how much better it would have been
if the predator beat all the characters on their own terms
like fucked danny trejo's wife and stole all his coke
beat the yakuza at gambling and dishonoured him

Pal Budster says:
hahaha
i would love it if predators were just really shit at urban combat
and like the predator in predator 2 was the best they had ever done

Rad C Hauser says:
haha

Pal Budster says:
and every time they see a building they are hugely embarassed

Rad C Hauser says:
it set them back decades when he died

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