Sunday, 25 December 2011

Game Proposal: Heraclitus and the Ginger Wig of Synchronicity

The pre-Socratic philosopher and renowned historical personage Empedocles lies dying on the streets of '70s New York, the victim of a brutal mugging conducted by a cross-dressing former nun called Dirk Adabach and an anthropomorphic talking weasel with psoriasis. As he lapses into unconsciousness, he dreams of his childhood in Acragas, smoking grass with mythological beasts and repeatedly failing to complete the Times' crossword. [At this point, the player will be challenged to complete a series of crosswords without answers. Upon failing, he will continue to the next stage.]

Rescued by the super-gay novelist Edmund White, Empedocles gradually recovers his strength and enters New York's vibrant cruising scene. [Here, the player will perform a series of graphic sexual sub games.] Unfortunately, he is arrested at the scene of an illicit gang bang and deported. In the prison ship he shares a cell with a notorious Hitler impersonator and medium know as Eggs Benedict, who shares with him his grandmother's recipe for banana and walnut carrot cappuccino cake. [The player will now have to memorize the recipe and reproduce it in the game. Failure will result in death.]

The ship encounters a storm at sea, and Empedocles is thrown over board. Shortly afterwards, the ship capsizes, and he is able to ride its upended hull to safety, becoming the only survivor. [This sequence will not be playable. However, it will be followed by a multiple-choice quiz on the court of Louis XVI of France.] Washing up on the shore of 16th century England, he opens an innovative cake shop and wins the approval of Thomas Cromwell, who is then murdered. On hearing of this, Empedocles swears vengeance and embarks on a tough training regime in order to transform himself into a martial arts master. [...] Having completed his training, he awakes to find that everything that has befallen him since his initial beating on the streets of New York was a dream. Edmund White rescues him again, and the two of them have sex for a week. [Playable.]




2 comments:

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